Day Three Hundred and Nine: Deek I

A new story for ya’ll. It’s related to this. Enjoy.

That wis good. Wisnae the best, but it wis good. I’d like to open every tour like that. Couple eh bum notes but it’s no great shakes, the crowd lapped it up even though Jack wis hammered. He’s no figured oot the balance yet. I’ve been at this game for about 7 years noo and he’s still no got the balance right. If yer too pished when ye go on stage ye get thirsty really quickly, and then the fatigue kicks in as ye burn through the excess carbs in the booze, so by the halfway point in the set yer choking for a drink eh something that’s no beer and yer ready for yer bed. He took it on the chin but, and we played well. Ye have to get a wee buzz on before ye hit the stage but ye don’t want to overdo it so ye can continue later on. After a couple eh songs I’d sobered up, so I just topped it up wi mare beer, unlike Jack. At the guitar solo in “Sick of Bricks” he jumped over n told me that he wisnae feelin that great. Nae wonder, he’d already tanned a bottle eh vodka afore we hit the stage. Mad cunt.

Anyway, noo that the business is oot the way it’s time tae get doon tae the pleasure. Aberdeen’s club scene is pretty shite to be honest, but since we’re kicking this tour aff on a Saturday night we’re hitting the clubs. The promoter has set up a bit of an after party for us in the venue, so hopefully the drink will be flowing an hopefully there’ll be plenty eh burds tae. Unlike any other singer I’ve ever met, Jack’s no in tae that kind eh thing. He’d rather just get pished in a corner and dance until he vomits, so it’ll likely be me and the walking woman repellent Ronnie who’re left to party on to the bitter end like true rock stars. JP’s like me in that he’s got a missus, but unlike me he’s devoted tae her. I’ll never understand that; I’m in this band purely for the wummin; he’s in it for something else entirely. Lead guitarists n singers are supposed to be the hell raisers yet it’s the bassist and the drummer eh this band who do the real demonic shit. JP’ll be back in the van reading afore half one, sober as a fuckin judge, and Jack’ll be in away with it by half twelve. Don’t think that’s a complaint, by the way; less for them, more for me. I’ll just need to see if I can ditch Ronnie at some point. It’s been a wee while since I goat a good ride on tour, and if I’m honest with ye I’m glad we arranged this tour after Christmas. I was sick of stickin to the one woman. Been far too long. Far, far too long.

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