She grabs the pint n turns roond an starts walkin away so ah walk up behind her n grab her by the waist.
“Where ye goin hen?”
We hit the dancefloor and she stands there noddin her heed to a couple of good tunes, takin care no tae spill any of her drink. Priorities; ah like it. It’s at this point ah notice she’s wearin a lovely red dress wi matchin stilettos. Ah’m no intae red, but she looks pretty stunnin tae be fair. They play an AC/DC number n ah decide to dance closer tae her. When it’s done we break apart again and she motions fur me to come closer again. As ah move in she pulls ma heed doon tae her mouth n whispers in ma ear.
“You’ve got something in yer beard.”
That’s the best line ah’ve heard for a while. Usually ah go in first n kiss the burds but she’s playin it cool, takin charge. Ah grab her wee waist again and she leans back n chucks her pint in ma face.
“That’s whit ye get ya creepy dick!”
Ah’m ragin, an through ma Strongbow filled eyes I catch a glimpse of her walking away aff the dance floor. Ah woulda followed her but ah could barely see straight. After aboot a minute eh rubbin ma eyes ah could see again an ah noticed a bunch ey lassies who’re standin wi Ronnie pure guttin themselves laughin. Ah flip Ronnie aff and he just aboot falls oan his fat arse in hysterics. Cunt.
Ah make ma way through the now busy club and intae the toilet tae gie ma face a wee wash. After negotiating the bog queue ah run the tap under ma hands n splash some cold water in ma face then check ma self in the mirror. Ma brown beard has taken on a slightly sticky feelin an a weird yellowy tint since the cider incident, so ah wash it again before checkin ma self oot in the mirror one more time, suckin ma gut in for good measure. Ah pull the comb fae ma back pocket through ma hair and make ma way back oot into the night. This minor setback wisnae gonnae stop me pullin a lassie the night. No by a long shot. Ah order two more jacks and hit the dance floor. Even if I’m showin ma age a bit, the night is still young.